It is heavy. Carrying the boulders of our pain, grief, and trauma day in and day out is heavy. We come up with lots of creative survival tactics to navigate this feat of strength. Most of the time in public, we hide it away with our superhero cape and mask. Some days it feels back breaking and renders us still. Sometimes we get so used to carrying it we forget it’s even there, or we ignore it completely trying consciously or subconsciously to will it away. But something happens, a trigger, an external force, a voice in our head, and we’re instantaneously aware that it’s always there. We strive for the day it’s going to dissolve, or someone is going to come pick it up off our backs and toss it away for good. This myth may lead to us powering through situations with exhausting fervor trying to get to the “free of boulder” other side.
The truth is, it’s not going to dissolve. It might change colors and textures and density, it might feel much lighter after reaching certain milestones, it might be temporarily defeated, but there will always be something else to carry. That is life, especially life on a topsy-turvy healing journey.
With compassion we can gently replace “When will it go away?” with, “Where in my life do I get to set it down?”
Ideas:
• You set it down when you’re vulnerable and acknowledge it’s there.
• You set it down or at least distribute its weight when you ask for help.
• You set it down and rest. No explanation or justification needed. You simply rest.
• You set it down when you’re in nature and it blends into its surroundings.
• You set it down when you need to consciously rage at it. You face it head on and release with abandon all you’ve been holding inside.
• You set it down when you’re with a loving, safe person that holds space for you to do so. You witness it, together.
• You set it down when you’re giving yourself the grace to have FUN and PLAY!
• You set it down when you watch a mindless tv show or dramatic movie.
• You set it down by helping others with their boulders. Yours gets a break for a while when you’re making a difference for others.
• You set it down when you dance, move, shake, lift, run, walk, anything to get into your body.
• You set it down when you channel it’s heaviness into art, creation, or words.
• You set it down by literally scheduling time in your calendar to do so.
• You set it down when you honor your boundaries.
• You set it down when you choose self-care instead of powering through.
Action item: When can you set your boulder down today? This week? As an ongoing practice? We see you. You don't have to carry its weight alone, and it is OK and necessary to set it all the way down.